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"date": "2013-05-17T19:48:32+00:00",
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"title": "Absolute Certainty and Infinite Confidence",
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"content": "<div id=\"attachment_556\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 570px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/beatrizmartinvidal.deviantart.com\/art\/Creatures-of-literature-172932531\"><img class=\"size-large wp-image-556\" alt=\"Creatures of literature by *BeatrizMartinVidal\" src=\"http:\/\/spontaneousditties.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/creatures_of_literature_by_trixis.jpg?w=560&h=786\" width=\"560\" height=\"786\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">Creatures of literature<br \/>by *BeatrizMartinVidal<\/p><\/div>\n<p>When I was young, I used to fill notebooks with words.<\/p>\n<p>When my mother found my secret stack (under the cupboard, inside a pile of garbage bags) she held them to the sunlight one by one and read each page with wide, disbelieving eyes. I stood there with clenched fists, watching her go through thousands upon thousands of words.<\/p>\n<p>She cut my lunch allowance, which I was laundering to go towards my notebook addiction.<\/p>\n<p>Not to worry: I learned how to use the computer instead. This is how I started typing over 80 words per minute.<\/p>\n<p>Every day I felt this rising urge to achieve complete and utter bliss. I can only describe it as an overwhelming desire to write, and that full confidence that I could. I started out typing short stories copied from books. <em>Lion King<\/em> was the very first to be transcribed into MS-DOS. Eventually, I started typing out entire novels. As time progressed, I created my own.<\/p>\n<p>Page after page of words. The only thing I remember from my childhood is sitting in the garden, writing words, and as I grew older, sitting alone in a room, in front of a computer screen typing out words.<\/p>\n<p>I remember my friends yelling outside my window: “Ellise! When are you going to play?”<\/p>\n<p>“Nope, gotta type,” was my reply.<\/p>\n<p>When I was young I used to go through great lengths to quell my thirst for literature. I would sneak inside a library and try to borrow as many books as I could. I spent every lunchtime and recess in the library reading. I was the only person there. In retrospect I realize the librarian knew I had “borrowed” more books than I was allowed to because it was a very small library and I was its only customer. She smiled at me every time I left, even though I had books stuffed inside my shirt, inside my skirt, making me limp as I walked past.<\/p>\n<p>I began selling my stories to get even more books. Eventually the teachers had to sit me down and told me I was in trouble for taking other students’ lunch money. I told them: “But they’re buying my stories.”<\/p>\n<p>“Well, you’re not allowed to sell your stories.”<\/p>\n<p>“So how am I supposed to buy books?” I asked, horrified.<\/p>\n<p>“You’ll need to figure something else out.”<\/p>\n<p>Now that I’m older, I’ve learned to quell this desire. Even though I thought of stories, I kept them inside, controlled, and had the patience to wait until after my commute to write them down. Of course, it never happened — by the time I got home, I’d be way too tired from work, that all I would want to do is sit down, watch TV, stories and ideas long forgotten.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes, I’d sit down, stare at my computer screen, forcefully will myself to write, only to be hindered by self-doubt and criticism: What’s the point? It’s too gimmicky. This is too much of a sell-out piece. Way to add to the cliche train. And before I knew it, I had paralyzed myself into immobilism, infinitely frozen into standstill, stories and ideas quelled and quenched by insecurity.<\/p>\n<p>I find myself walking through bookstores and staring longingly at books I want to read. I devise a million reasons why it’s better I don’t read them all: full-time job, no time, no point. I try to make myself feel better that I did the right thing: you saved your money, now you can spend it on something else. Like phone bills. And rent.<\/p>\n<p>And instead of feeling happiness inside bookstores, all I feel is loneliness, and that sinking realization that I will never have enough time to read all of these books, nor the mind to understand and remember them.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, I think, I’d rather be the literature-addicted child who stopped at nothing to be transported into the world of words without any regard to the consequences that followed, instead of the responsible adult with a full-time job who walks into bookstores wistfully, hoping she could read all the books ever written and wanting so badly to participate and give back with words of her own some day.<\/p>\n<p>The addiction is still there: the only thing that faded through time is certainty.<\/p>\n",
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"date": "2013-05-13T17:05:55+02:00",
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"title": "Wedding Tips for Marrying a German: 5 Things to Know Before ‘Die Hochzeit’",
"URL": "http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.com\/2013\/05\/13\/marrying-a-german-5-things-to-know-before-die-hochzeit\/",
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"content": "<div id=\"attachment_6809\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 510px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/ogmwig-square-w-border.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-6809\" alt=\"German American Wedding Marriage\" src=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/ogmwig-square-w-border.jpg?w=480\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">“… to have and to hold, to honor and obHEEEEYYYY!”<\/p><\/div>\n<p>I am American. My wife is German. We got married in the States and it was awesome. So awesome, in fact, I was inspired to write this blog post for the benefit of every American who has married — or is about to marry — a German person while in the United States of America.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>‘Die Hochzeit,’ meaning ‘Wedding’ in German, sounds rather intimidating, doesn’t it? Unless you’re familiar with German pronunciation, ‘Die’ is probably the word you’d <em>least<\/em> like to associate with the happiest day of your life, and ‘Hochzeit’ sounds, at least to me anyway, an awful lot like ‘Hogtied.’<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4864\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 330px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/05\/hogtied-groom-wedding-funny-humor-reluctant.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-4864\" title=\"hogtie your groom \" alt=\"a guy dressed up and hogtied\" src=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/05\/hogtied-groom-wedding-funny-humor-reluctant.jpg?w=480\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">Pictured: the groom, about to die… hogtied. — Image courtesy of infinonymous.blogspot.com<\/p><\/div>\n<p>But marrying someone from Germany really isn’t the frightening ordeal one might reasonably expect it to be. In fact, the wedding process will most likely be a totally smooth and completely awesome experience… with the exception of these 5 little details of which you should probably be aware before you bring your German over to the United States to get hitched:<\/p>\n<h3><strong>1: Your German Will Be Unfamiliar With diamond Engagement Rings.<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Until very recently, giving diamond engagement rings was a tradition largely ignored here in Germany. I have seen more and more jewelers carrying these sorts of rings as of late, but the vast majority tend to be unadorned bands. Thick, depressing, German-as-hell wedding bands. But we are <em>Americans<\/em>, godammit, and we want our fianc\u00e9s to wear engagement rings mounted with bright, shiny, <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Blood_diamond\">blood diamonds<\/a>. And we want the cost of these diamonds to absolutely decimate our savings accounts, because if they don’t, it means we don’t love our fianc\u00e9s enough.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_6798\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 510px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/funny-german-wedding-rings-engagement-humor-design.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-6798\" alt=\"screw and nut wedding rings for funny engineers \" src=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/funny-german-wedding-rings-engagement-humor-design.jpg?w=480\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">German Design: Functional AND intimidating. — Image courtesy of efunmania.com<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Another thing about Germans and their wedding rings — many wear them on their right hands. They wear them on their left hands during the engagement period, switch them to their right hands during the wedding ceremony and then keep them there for the rest of their Teutonic lives. I wear my wedding ring on my left hand, where it belongs, and so does my wife — we roll American style on this one. Unfortunately, this means our rings often go unrecognized as symbols of marriage here in Germany. To Germans, we appear merely to be engaged — perhaps not even coupled at all — and my wife’s diamond engagement ring looks more like a piece of blindingly expensive jewelery… or an outright invitation to hit on her. I’m not worried though. Have you ever seen a German guy hit on a woman? It’s adorable.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>2: Your German Will Expect a ‘Polterabend’ before the wedding.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>The word ‘<a href=\"http:\/\/bjschupp.wordpress.com\/2009\/09\/13\/polterabend\/\" target=\"_blank\">Polterabend<\/a>‘ consists of the German verb ‘poltern’ (to make a racket) and the noun ‘Abend’ (evening). If you’ve ever seen the movie <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=8hQkBLrd1rE\" target=\"_blank\">Poltergeist<\/a>, you’ve probably already guessed this name is, at the very least, a discouraging omen.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4871\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 510px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/05\/poltergeist-1-end-closet-scene.jpg\"><img class=\" wp-image-4871 \" title=\"poltergeist-1-end-closet-scene\" alt=\"Polterabend poltergeist\" src=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/05\/poltergeist-1-end-closet-scene.jpg?w=500&h=261\" width=\"500\" height=\"261\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">“I’ll marry you! I swear! Just please don’t ever touch me again!” – Image courtesy of linkinpark.com<\/p><\/div>\n<p>A Polterabend is a German wedding custom \u2014 a big, all-night party before the wedding itself \u2014 where guests smash porcelain objects in order to bring luck to the couple’s marriage. The symbolism of this ritual is expressed by the old adage, “Scherben bringen Gl\u00fcck,” which means “Shards bring luck.” And I’m sure they do, for what could possibly go wrong when you combine magic, superstition, copious amounts of alcohol and flying shards of razor-sharp death pottery?<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4883\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 510px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/05\/bloody-bride-wedding-eye-patch-nightmare-funny-polterabend.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-4883\" title=\"bloody-bride-wedding-eye-patch-nightmare-funny-polterabend\" alt=\"bloody bride with eye patch\" src=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/05\/bloody-bride-wedding-eye-patch-nightmare-funny-polterabend.jpg?w=480\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">“Best. Polterabend. EVER.” – Image courtesy of magnumarts.blogspot.com<\/p><\/div>\n<p>In practice, however, the Polterabend is just an excuse to have a raging party right before your wedding day. And if anyone knows how to both rage <em>and<\/em> party simultaneously, it’s those wily Germans. I, however, think it is a spectacularly bad idea to go nuts the night immediately before your wedding. You know all those videos of people passing out right at the altar? That doesn’t happen when you’ve spent the previous evening in your hotel room, quietly rehearsing your vows and going to sleep at a reasonable hour. That happens from Polterabends.<\/p>\n<p>The Wife and I did not have a Polterabend, however, because most venues in the Unites States close at a reasonable hour. Not in Germany. Here, you can rent out a place and go ballistic until the sun comes up. It’s basically expected of you. My wife was highly offended by the American peculiarities she encountered while researching Polterabend venues, because she was entirely unfamiliar with terms like “closing time,” “last call” and “noise ordinance.”<\/p>\n<h3><strong>3: Your German Will Party Harder Than You At the Reception<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Yes, we are Americans, and yes, we can party. But there’s something deep inside German DNA which allows them to party harder than us by orders of magnitude. A real German party makes an American party look like a bunch of diaper-wearing toddlers trying to hump a pi\u00f1ata.<\/p>\n<p>Your German will drink, but will not get sloppy drunk — just the right amount of fuel to feed the machine. He or she will take — or be featured prominently — in every single picture taken that night. He or she will dance, sing, eat ridiculously heavy foods, laugh and then dance some more… all while you have long since passed out. Germans are <em>cosmic<\/em> partiers, you see. Your German will be the sun in the solar system that is your wedding reception, and its gravity will pull all celestial matter toward its center — including you, the wayward planet with the decaying orbit — where you will burn in its white-hot embrace for all eternity.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_6800\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 510px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/awesome-funny-german-bride-reception-guests-dancing.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-6800\" alt=\"awesome brides daning at reception\" src=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/awesome-funny-german-bride-reception-guests-dancing.jpg?w=480\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">Rocking you all night long… to death. — Image courtesy of mywedding.com<\/p><\/div>\n<p>You know how Americans don’t have any traditional drinking songs? Your German has forgotten more drinking songs than you will ever learn. (But don’t sweat this part too hard; their drinking songs are pretty retarded.)<\/p>\n<p>And you know how Americans don’t have any traditional drinking dances? Germans know dozens of dances, and at your wedding reception, you will be expected to participate in every goddamn one of them. Watch out for the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=dL90uJSf6OU\">Chicken Dance<\/a> , <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=_80p5Eh9fHg\">Cowboy und Indianer (komm hol das Lasso raus)<\/a> and the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=dO93OT3P30g\">Slap Dance<\/a>. They look great in the pictures you will see later on, but right in the moment? Right when it’s happening, as you hop around in a circle holding hands with your spouse on one side and some hairy cousin you barely even know on the other? You may think your life has spun dangerously out of control, but don’t be scared; this is all German engineering. This is the Autobahn, baby. Hold on tight and try not to look like a pussy.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>4: Your German — and the other german Guests — Will refuse to drink and drive.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>As an American, it physically hurts me to admit Germans are better drinkers than we are \u2014 hurts me right in my star-spangled heart muscles \u2014 but it’s true; they grow up with some of the <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Alcohol_laws_in_Germany\" target=\"_blank\">least restrictive alcohol laws in the world<\/a>, which seem to encourage drinking responsibility, rather than drinking recklessness.\u00a0 Maybe it’s because Germans youths are legally allowed to purchase beer and wine at age 16, and then allowed to purchase hard liquor at 18. There’s no excitement in it for them. They’re not breaking any rules. Oh sure, there are spectacular drunks and catastrophic failures of alcohol abuse in Germany too, but they’re not nearly so prevalent as in the States.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_6802\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 510px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/funny-girl-child-kid-with-beer-alcohol-underage-drinking.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-6802\" alt=\"little girl drinking beer\" src=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/funny-girl-child-kid-with-beer-alcohol-underage-drinking.jpg?w=480\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">MOM: “Which cereal do you want for breakfast, honey?” DAUGHTER: “Pilsner Pops.” — Image courtesy of guycodeblog.mtv.com\/<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Wisely, Germany’s relaxed age restrictions on the purchase of alcohol do not extend to driving while intoxicated. Unlike the United States, there is no legal limit of 0.08% blood alcohol level in Germany (though I’ve heard in some parts of the country there is a limit 0.05%, which can be achieved by accidentally swallowing a thimble full of mouthwash). In Germany, if you get pulled over and the officer determines you’re even <em>slightly<\/em> intoxicated — there goes your drivers license. You’ll be slapped with a massive fine, community service and a restriction on your ability to drive for the\u00a0foreseeable future. You may even lose your license forever.<\/p>\n<p>Germans grow up with this reality, and they won’t take any chances. They intuitively <em>know<\/em> how stupid it is to drink and drive. This is why you may need to organize shuttles and taxis for your German wedding guests. (And <em>screw<\/em> the American ones, right? Because they have the freedom to die in a fire of twisted metal and broken windshield glass if they so desire. It even says so in the <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/United_States_Bill_of_Rights\">Bill of Rights<\/a>… probably.) So, unless you arrange for safe transportation to and from your wedding reception, some poor German is going to remain sober all night, and just <em>one<\/em> sober German alone is enough bring about a second Great Depression.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>5: Your German won’t understand why American Weddings are so incredibly expensive.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Listen — you and me? We’re American. Our weddings are traditionally extravagant. We get hitched using so much money either our parents pay for everything, or we go bankrupt attempting to handle the cost ourselves. It’s just how we roll.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_6851\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 370px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/ridiculous-extravagant-expensive-wedding-cake.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-6851\" alt=\"extravagant cake\" src=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/ridiculous-extravagant-expensive-wedding-cake.jpg?w=480\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">“Is that a cake or a delicious monument to capitalism?” — Image courtesy of elegantbouquetsorg.wordpress.com<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Germans, however, are a practical bunch of squares. They use local churches, restaurants, hotels and the backyards of affluent relatives to get married. Their wedding venues are cute, quaint, and so utilitarian you’d likely observe better scenery in a dentist’s office while having your wisdom teeth pulled under general anesthesia. That said, American wedding venues overcharge young couples just as hard as they can. So hard it should be illegal. Like, <em>porno<\/em> hard. But since it isn’t illegal, you’ll need to have a conversation with your German fianc\u00e9 about the realities of American wedding expenses:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left:30px;\">GERMAN: “Do we really need to rent a ballroom with an inflatable bouncy castle?”<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left:30px;\">AMERICAN: “Yes.”<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left:30px;\">GERMAN: “Are they really going to charge for food on a per-person basis? That’s like $100 per person!”<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left:30px;\">AMERICAN: “Yes, but kids are half price.”<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left:30px;\">GERMAN: “Why do we have to put a 50% deposit down?”<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left:30px;\">AMERICAN: “Because they’re afraid we might destroy the place… and we absolutely will.”<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left:30px;\">GERMAN: “Wedding cake prices range between $250 and $1000. Is this normal?”<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left:30px;\">AMERICAN: “Yes.”<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left:30px;\">GERMAN: “Do we really need to have an open bar?”<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left:30px;\">AMERICAN: “<em>Hell<\/em> yes.”<\/p>\n<p>Now, before you attempt to describe the sorts of expenses involved in a typically lavish American wedding, email this infographic to your German and let <em>it<\/em> do the talking for you:<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_5249\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 125px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/05\/wedding-cost-infographic-chart-expenses-marriage-tips.png\"><img class=\"size-medium wp-image-5249\" title=\"wedding-cost-infographic-chart-expenses-marriage-tips\" alt=\"Wedding Cost Infographic\" src=\"http:\/\/ohgodmywifeisgerman.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/05\/wedding-cost-infographic-chart-expenses-marriage-tips.png?w=115&h=300\" width=\"115\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">“Wait, wait… why are we doing this again?” — Image courtesy of sourcherry.org<\/p><\/div>\n<hr \/>\n<p>I hope you find these considerations helpful and encouraging. Marrying a German is likely to be the very best decision you ever make in your life, and I congratulate you for having such excellent taste when you chose one to be your lifelong companion.<\/p>\n<p>Now please, as you are planning your wedding while attempting to work all day, run errands, do chores, get enough sleep, maintain a healthy relationship with your German <em>and<\/em> retain your sanity, remember <em>it is all worth it in the end<\/em>. The organizing, the calls, the emails, the decisions and the expenses which go into American wedding planning will feel overwhelming at times. And unless you can afford a wedding planner, the stress will increase each day leading up to the wedding itself. But when that day is finally here, and things really get rolling? Everything will fall <em>right<\/em> into place. I promise.<\/p>\n<p>Congratulations on scoring a wonderful German to be your spouse, and have a blast at the wedding! You’ve earned it!<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Herzlichen Gl\u00fcckwunsch!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:x-small;line-height:1;\"><em>If you liked this post, please follow our blog by entering your email address in the upper right corner of this page. You’ll receive future posts directly in your inbox! No spam, ever! You can also follow us on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/mywifeisgerman\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pages\/Oh-God-My-Wife-Is-German\/279929715368145\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook<\/a>.<br \/>\n<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n",
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"content": "<p>1. I was going through my old Hotmail account last night. It\u2019s an abandoned email address that was overrun by spam and pornbots because I switched to Gmail and whenever I signed up for anything like spam or porn sites I used my Hotmail address.<\/p>\n<p>2. The old emails still live there, dating back to 2000 or so, tucked into folders called \u201cPersonal,\u201d \u201cHome Office,\u201d and \u201cJobsearch.\u201d I get lost poking around reading these old messages, like the way people go through old photo albums.<\/p>\n<p>3. Here\u2019s an email in the \u201cFreelance\u201d folder for a six-month Medical Writer job in Morris Plains, NJ, which I received on October 25, 2003:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>The Medical Writer is responsible for generating and preparing Pharmacovigilance safety reports to support the CHC global initiatives.\u00a0He\/She will generate Summary of Safety Documents for Regulatory Authorities, including post-marketing data, Literature reports, and review of previous safety reports. Knowledge of FDA\/ICH regulations, strong computer skills i.e., word, excel, adverse event data bases, demonstrated oral and written communication skills.\u00a0\u00a0Experience in Pharmacovigilance, Safety Assessments, Data Analysis or Safety Risk Management are relevant for this position.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>4. Just scanning through that gave me the heebie-geebies.<\/p>\n<p>5. There\u2019s another folder called, pretentiously, \u201cWriting Correspondence.\u201d The emails go back 12, 14 years ago, when I was still living in New York and was just starting to get my footing and making my way as a writer.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"line-height:1.7;\">6. Inside the Writing Correspondence folder: rejection emails upon rejection emails from agents, editors, reading series people; the rare acceptance email from a literary journal editor; attachments of virtual galleys or PDFs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>6a. Two whole pages are taken up by forwarded messages from three terribly serious, chronically avant garde poets offended by my interview with cultural critic Camille Paglia. Specifically, they\u2019re demanding I empanel some poets\u2014i.e., them\u2014and contact Camille Paglia again so the panel can ask her questions about her omission of avant garde poets from her book of poetry explications.<\/p>\n<p>6a. I told them no.<\/p>\n<p>6b. They said I didn\u2019t want to harm my \u201ccozy relationship\u201d with Camille Paglia.<\/p>\n<p>6a. I told them I didn\u2019t even know her email, that I was connected to her through a publicist who put me on a conference call, that was a stupid idea and to, essentially, go pound sand.<\/p>\n<p>7. I bring this story up because, it\u2019s around this same time, when my first and second books came out, that I started to get solicited from editors.<\/p>\n<p>7a. Soliciation is when an editor asks you to send new work. At the first literary journal I edited, we never really solicited. We \u201csoft-solicited,\u201d as we called it, which meant you were allowed to ask someone to send work, but don\u2019t ever guarantee that it would be published.<\/p>\n<p>7b. But these emails I started getting were real solicitations. \u201cWe\u2019re about to go live with our first issue,\u201d one reads, \u201cand would love to publish your work.<\/p>\n<p>7c. These weren\u2019t, like, big time editors hitting me up. Usually these were people in grad school or just out of grad school. Their enthusiasm is still of the \u201cwe\u2019ve got the barn, we\u2019ve got the talent, let\u2019s put on a SHOW\u201d variety.<\/p>\n<p>7d. They\u2019re lovely to re-read. You might think that a writer would be charmed by the interest, and approval-seeking me was no exception.<\/p>\n<p>8. As I scan through the pages of 40 emails at a time, a pattern of names emerges. There\u2019s the designer of my books, my editor Richard Nash, Thom Didato of Failbetter and Joanna Yas of Open City and Michael Miller of Time Out New York.<\/p>\n<p>8a. I started to think how long I\u2019ve been doing this, this whole writing thing, and how it had taken until my mid-thirties before I could really conduct myself in public where I could hold two opposing ideas in my mind at the same time: 1. that I was a writer and 2. I was me.<\/p>\n<p>9. There\u2019s a solicitation for <em>Dead Horse Review<\/em>. A couple of high school kids had recognized me\u2014recognized me!\u2014at a reading in Spoonbill and Sugartown in Williamsburg, introduced themselves, and struck up a conversation. I\u2019m starting a literary journal, one said, and would you like to send work? I think her dad was there.<\/p>\n<p>9a. I said yes, of course. What else would I say?<\/p>\n<p>9b. I didn\u2019t hear from her for a while and then I got an email. Do you remember me from the reading?<\/p>\n<p>9c. \u201cOf course I do,\u201d I write back. \u201cI never get recognized in public. You made me feel famous!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>9d. \u201cI\u2019m so glad you remember having met at that reading!\u201d the editor writes back. \u201cDorky as this sounds, that reading was sort of pivital for me because it was the first time I met \u201cgrownup\u201d poets who weren\u2019t wearing linen robes and talking about yoga\/the desert in New Mexico\/etc.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>10. I remember these emails because she was funny and the person was now in college and was interning at Soft Skull Press, who published my first books. She told me what she was doing, and of course this dates the correspondence to the mid-aughts.<\/p>\n<p>10a. \u201cI’ve been given the job of handling all our myspace correspondance– I get to be up on all the latest teen cyber trends and do lots of Soft Skull product placement. Anyway, it’s by far the coolest office I’ve spent time in.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>11. Anyways, I sent some poems to her\u2014a Word document of, like, 20 poems, in fact, way more than you usually send, but when you\u2019re solicited you want to make sure they like <i>something<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>12. She took four poems. Here\u2019s her email:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I really really enjoyed reading the poems you sent to me. It felt like you had a number of cool series underway, and I honestly loved them all. I am excited by the idea of publishing 2 of your found poems (sister email and Gene Simmons) as well as Molly Pitcher and Never Touchin’ Myself Again. What do you think? This feels like it’ll give readers a good sense of your range and will allow for some immersion into Daniel Nester universe. Let me know if this works for you, and what you’d like published in the way of a bio.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>13. <em>Dead Horse Review<\/em> #2 eventually went live, and I got an email announcing the publication. I was particularly proud of the found poems finding a home, since I was really into the idea of \u201cuncreative writing,\u201d a term used by Kenneth Goldsmith to describe using the language that\u2019s already around us for material.<\/p>\n<p>13a. I\u2019m pretty sure that was the final issue of <em>Dead Horse Review<\/em>. As much as people like to say things live forever in the digital age, I don\u2019t see any evidence of it being archived anywhere. At some point the editor went back to college, and I\u2019m sure other things took over.<\/p>\n<p>14. I am sure, in fact. It was only last night that I noticed the name of the editor: Lena Dunham.<\/p>\n<p>14a. Lena Fucking Dunham published my poems!<\/p>\n<p>15. I just wrote my old friend Lena back.<\/p>\n<p>16. \u201cOn the off chance this email address is still working,\u201d I write, \u201cand you read this and remember the dude you came up to at a reading in Williamsburg, and who gave you 4 poems for your old online journal, I hope you’re well, big-time congrats, and you rock. You made me feel special just being an Oberlin student hitting me up for poems, and now I feel even special-er.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>17. Maybe she\u2019ll write back. Who knows?<\/p>\n<p>17a. Anyway, I love email.<\/p>\n",
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"content": "<div style=\"text-align:left;\"><em><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size:16px;line-height:24px;\">“Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh.”<\/span><\/em><\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\"><strong>Ecclesiastes 12<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\"><img class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-5637\" alt=\"From the Beginning\" src=\"http:\/\/touch2touch.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/img_0456.jpg?w=640&h=438\" width=\"640\" height=\"438\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\">It was that way right from the beginning, I’m sure. Carvers in stone, makers of runes, \u00a0scribes in papyrus and parchment, right up to workaday paper — Hebrew, Greek, Latin, English — Making books is weary WORK, not glamour. Don’t take my word for it; here is <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Gabriel_Garc%C3%ADa_M\u00e1rquez\">Gabriel Garcia Marquez<\/a>,\u00a0<\/strong>author of, among many other long works, <em><strong>One Hundred Years of Solitude<\/strong><\/em> and <strong><em>Love in the Time of Cholera<\/em><\/strong>:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0”Ultimately literature is nothing but carpentry. Both are very hard work. Writing something is almost as hard as making a table. With both you are working with reality, a material just as hard as wood. Both are full of tricks and techniques. Basically very little magic and a lot of hard work involved.”<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Carpentry! But people persist in regarding writing books as a high road to fame and fortune. Hah! \u00a0The Biblical quote called it more accurately: there is no end to the making of, not only fiction, but books about (as here, the beginning of my shelves on music and cooking) everything under the sun. There are books by unknown people — that’s most of them. But some of these are books by friends (on the lower left). On the right, some of the favorites that make every cut, however we try and clear out our stock. We cannot bear not to keep these few.<\/p>\n<p><img class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-5638\" alt=\"One Corner of a Bookshelf\" src=\"http:\/\/touch2touch.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/img_0455.jpg?w=640&h=480\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" \/><\/p>\n<p>(A Side Note: Why so many books on booklovers’ shelves? \u00a0I have a theory. I am convinced that, in the middle of the night, books hop down off their shelves and mate, which is why people always find their shelves overflowing all the while swearing, truly, I did NOT buy all of these! )<\/p>\n<p>I am also convinced that everyone is convinced that they “have a book in them.” If not several books — Writing does seem beguilingly easy, doesn’t it? Just put one word after another. We’ve all been doing that since infancy! There is a catch though, which occurs very soon after sitting down at a desk. Here is <strong>Stephen Leacock<\/strong>, the Canadian humorist, in this case, the Canadian truth-teller:<\/p>\n<p><em>“Writing is no trouble, you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity enough – it is the occurring which is difficult.”<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The lure probably begins with its simplicity. No special equipment required. A pencil or a pen and a blank piece of paper. Which, maddeningly, remains blank. Or is rapidly scribbled over with words that, read the next morning, are at best nothing much, at worst, drivel. Because what no one considers in this alluring prospect is the rewriting. But it’s the essence of writing: rewriting. <strong>Ernest Hemingway<\/strong>, who never wasted words, said it best:<em><br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>“The first draft of anything is always shit.”<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Not that I expect anything I’m writing here to innoculate anyone against the writing bug. If you like hitting your head against a stone wall, if you like to dream The Impossible Dream, you’ll go to it anyway. I did. And what’s more, I’ve been published. By big name hard copy publishers. Fame? Have you ever heard of my books? Fortune? The 1% never included me in it!<\/p>\n<p><img class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-5640\" alt=\"My Own Books\" src=\"http:\/\/touch2touch.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/img_0452.jpg?w=640&h=466\" width=\"640\" height=\"466\" \/><\/p>\n<p>My two books are on these particular shelves, <strong>Going to Jerusalem<\/strong> (in a luxurious leather binding that was a gift from publisher Simon & Schuster, although I’ll bet they don’t do that these austere days) and <strong>Convergence<\/strong> (Doubleday). There’s a book about Brother Roger of Taiz\u00e9, which I translated from the French, and copies of a “little” magazine, The Berkshire Review, which published some of my stories. My friend <strong>Madeleine L’Engle,\u00a0<\/strong>whose\u00a0<em>Penguins & Golden Calves<\/em>\u00a0is only one among her countless works of science fiction and memoir, is here to remind me of scale. <strong>Natalie Goldberg<\/strong> and <strong>Brenda Ueland<\/strong> wrote two of the best, and my favorite, books on writing. The other books hanging out on the same shelf deal with creativity of various kinds, and with motivation and balance and psychology, and are by authors as distinguished as <strong>Rollo May<\/strong> and <strong>Viktor Frankl<\/strong>. At the right of the photo, somehow fittingly, is <em>If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him<\/em>, by <strong>Sheldon Kopp<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>And was it, in the end, worth all the time (years, sometimes) and trouble? Hard to say. Simply put, it’s what I did, and do. Words are my instruments, my playthings, the iridescent shimmering bubbles that I blow. And I’m stuck with that! There really is a reward, though, even if the fame and fortune and glowing critical reviews never materialize. It’s an unexpected reward, stated clearly by the poet <strong>C. Day Lewis<\/strong>:<\/p>\n<p><em><q cite=\"http:\/\/quotationsbook.com\/quote\/42738\/\">We do not write in order to be understood; we write in order to understand.<\/q>\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So there you are —<\/p>\n<p>Do you want to understand better? Yourself? Others? The world? Life? Truth? Write as long and hard and truthfully as you can, and that’s what you can look forward to. Believe me when I say I only set out this morning to write a funny little post about there maybe being too many books in the world. I didn’t expect to discover anything, but I was ambushed and surprised. And that, my friends, is a reward of writing.<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n",
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"title": "Do No Harm: Intersex Surgeries and the Limits of Certainty",
"URL": "http:\/\/nursingclio.org\/2013\/05\/17\/do-no-harm-intersex-surgeries-and-the-limits-of-certainty\/",
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"content": "<p dir=\"ltr\">The <a href=\"http:\/\/www.splcenter.org\/get-informed\/news\/groundbreaking-splc-lawsuit-accuses-south-carolina-doctors-and-hospitals-of-unnece#.UZS7FCv5kzQ\" target=\"_blank\">Southern Poverty Law Center<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/aiclegal.org\/\" target=\"_blank\">Advocates for Informed Choice<\/a> have filed a lawsuit against the South Carolina Department of Social Services (SCDSS), Greenville Hospital System, the Medical University of South Carolina, and several medical personnel for allowing physicians to remove the atypical genitals of a 16-month-old toddler because that child, in the state\u2019s custody at the time, was born with an intersex condition. M.C. had been identified male at birth, but his genitals were sufficiently indeterminate that surgeons removed his ambiguous phallus, a testis, and testicular tissue on one gonad, and surgically created an ostensible approximation of female genitals. The suit asserts that there was no medical need for this surgery, which was meant to permanently \u201cfix\u201d this child and turn him into an unequivocal girl, but it did him more harm than good. M.C., now eight years old, feels more like a boy, lives as a boy, and heartbreakingly has asked his mother, \u201cWhen will I get my penis?\u201d<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_6352\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 310px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nursingclio.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/mcbike_brighter-bw_kz.jpg\"><img class=\" wp-image-6352 \" alt=\"MCBIKE_BRIGHTER-BW_KZ\" src=\"http:\/\/nursingclio.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/mcbike_brighter-bw_kz.jpg?w=300&h=199\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">8-year-old M.C. identifies as a boy.*<\/p><\/div>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">This sad situation is reminiscent of another case in which the patient, also an orphan, had no parents to advocate on his behalf and underwent similar genital surgery for no medical reason. Frank, a seven-year-old boy was admitted to the Johns Hopkins Hospital in October 1925, diagnosed with undescended testicles and hypospadias, a condition where the urinary opening is underneath rather than at the tip of the penis. In addition, Frank had a short vagina, leading physicians to believe that he was actually a girl. When they did exploratory surgery they found an ovary on one side, confirming their suspicions. What was once seen as a boy\u2019s penis was now seen as an enlarged clitoris. Doctors now considered Frank to be a girl, and they advised the orphanage to change his name from Frank to Frances and rear him as female. The fact that the child was an orphan probably made it easier for the doctors to convince his guardians that surgery was necessary, but even parents face overwhelming pressure when confronted with physicians\u2019 seeming certainty over the correct course of action.<\/p>\n<p>No surgery was performed initially on Frances. However, when Frances returned to the hospital two years later complaining that the \u201cclitoral appendage\u201d was annoying to her, doctors mentioned that she had a \u201cterrible habit\u201d of masturbating, and so they amputated it. A few years later, Frances returned, complaining of pain. She told her doctors that when she turned eighteen, she was going to learn a mechanical trade and live as a man. Worried about this seeming challenge to their previous decision, more tests were done, and it turned out that since Frances had some newly discovered testicular tissue, physicians agreed that perhaps he was really a man all along. As for his genitals, it was too late to alter them because the penis\/clitoris had already been removed.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/nursingclio.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/oath.jpg\"><img class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-6353\" alt=\"oath\" src=\"http:\/\/nursingclio.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/oath.jpg?w=210&h=300\" width=\"210\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a>Frances changed his name to John, clearly stating that he wanted to live as a man, but that didn\u2019t stop his doctor from speculating, \u201cIf implantation of ovaries ever becomes successful in the human should this be done?\u201d One wants to scream “No!” at the case report; “Please, let John live his life as a man without any further medical scrutiny and unnecessary intervention.\u201d Even though the doctor admitted that John seemed happily male, he still wondered about ovary implantation to force John to live as Frances against his own wishes. The mistake of the excised penis would then be negated, but at the expense of John’s inclination.<\/p>\n<p>Many of the news sources surrounding the recent case of M.C. have reported that damaging surgeries such as these have been happening since the 1950s. While it is true that during the 1950s infant surgeries became standard protocol, interventionist surgeries to \u201crepair\u201d ambiguous genitals and to change people into the supposed \u201ccorrect\u201d gender began long before the 1950s. The earliest case I have found was in the 1840s, when a three-year-old girl\u2019s undescended testes were removed because the physician was worried that when they matured, they might cause her to become sexually attracted to other women rather than to men. Throughout American history, fears of homosexuality have motivated intersex surgeries, as some physicians wanted to make sure that patients were certain of their sex so that they wouldn\u2019t be attracted to the \u201cwrong\u201d sex.<\/p>\n<p>What makes dealing with intersex especially complex is that parents are often asked to make decisions regarding their child\u2019s body. Of course, parents want what is best for their children. They want them to be happy, and they want them to grow up without being teased or ridiculed for having an unusual body. Parents\u2019 worries might be unfounded. M.C., for example, has recently told his classmates about his ordeal and has received nothing but support from his peers. Would parents consent to \u201cnormalizing\u201d surgeries for their child if they were informed of likely negative consequences? Of course, there might be an underlying metabolic concern that needs careful medical attention, but often the issue is merely aesthetic or social. M.C.’s parents are asking, and we need to ask ourselves, if loss of sexual sensation, incontinence, scarring, sterilization, the emotional trauma of surgery, and the risk that the child might not want to live as the surgically-assigned gender are all worth the effort to superficially normalize bodies.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nursingclio.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/3-symbols.jpeg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-6355 aligncenter\" alt=\"3 symbols\" src=\"http:\/\/nursingclio.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/3-symbols.jpeg?w=480\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Since the late-twentieth century, attitudes towards these surgeries have begun to change, largely as a result of intersex activism that started in the 1990s. If, as a society, we felt more comfortable with difference, we might not be so eager to surgically repair bodies that don\u2019t actually need repair. It is possible to choose a gender for a child born with ambiguous genitalia and still decline surgical intervention. If M.C.\u2019s parents win their pathbreaking lawsuit, then perhaps physicians will have further incentive to hold off on irreparable surgeries until the children are old enough to have a say in what they want their bodies to look like.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"text-align:center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nursingclio.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/aic-logo-trans.png\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-6356 aligncenter\" alt=\"aic-logo-trans\" src=\"http:\/\/nursingclio.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/aic-logo-trans.png?w=480\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"text-align:left;\"><em>*After careful consideration, Nursing Clio made the decision to publish pictures of M.C., which are prevalent throughout several other media sources. MC, and his parents, are very open and honest about his gender identity and his medical ordeal. It is there hope that by coming forward with their story,\u00a0they can prevent this tragedy from happening to other children.<\/em><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"text-align:left;\"><span style=\"text-decoration:underline;\"><em>For Further Reading:<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"text-align:left;\">\u00a0-\u00a0Elizabeth Reis, <em>Bodies in Doubt: An American History of Intersex<\/em> (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press 2009), chapter 4.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"text-align:left;\">-\u00a0Hugh Hampton Young, <em>Genital Abnormalities, Hermaphroditism and Related Adrenal Diseases<\/em> (Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1937), 84-91.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"text-align:left;\">-\u00a0Katrina Karkazis, <em>Fixing Sex: Intersex, Medical Authority, and Lived Experience<\/em> (Durham: Duke University Press, 2008).<\/p>\n",
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"title": "Blaming Consumers is a Cop Out",
"URL": "http:\/\/notesonatheory.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/12\/blaming-consumers-is-a-cop-out\/",
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"content": "<p><a title=\"By User talk:Fg2 (I User talk:Fg2 took this photograph.) [GFDL (http:\/\/www.gnu.org\/copyleft\/fdl.html), CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-sa\/3.0\/) or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons\" href=\"http:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/wiki\/File%3ADime.jpg\"><img class=\"alignleft\" alt=\"Dime\" src=\"\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/3\/31\/Dime.jpg\" width=\"128\" height=\"125\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>[Update: On Orhtheory, Jerry Davis object to my comment (which was the first draft of this post) for claiming \u00a0that he is calling to blame the consumer.]\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>[Update 2: Davis also makes his objections in this comments to this post. My response is<a href=\"http:\/\/notesonatheory.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/15\/culpability-and-change\/\"> here<\/a>]<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>[Update 3: Jim Naureckas has a good post on this topic: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.fair.org\/blog\/2013\/05\/17\/youre-to-blame-for-factory-deaths-well-you-and-walmart\/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=youre-to-blame-for-factory-deaths-well-you-and-walmart\">You're to Blame for Factory Deaths. Well, You and Walmart<\/a>]<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>[Update 4: You can take the National Consumers' League 10 cent pledge <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/nationalconsumersleague?sk=app_208195102528120&app_data\">here<\/a>.]<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Speaking of the awful Bangladesh factory disaster that killed at least a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.inthesetimes.com\/working\/entry\/14977\/bangladesh_factory_collapse_1000_deaths_another_fire\/\">thousand people<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/orgtheory.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/12\/blame-the-consumers\/\">Brayden King <\/a>at Orgtheory quotes <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2013\/05\/12\/opinion\/sunday\/sunday-dialogue-how-goods-are-produced.html?_r=0\">Jerry Davis<\/a> in the <em>New York Times<\/em> who blames consumers for working conditions in the Third World. In essence, consumer demand for cheap products are what forces wages down and makes working conditions so dangerous, so the blame lies with those consumers.<\/p>\n<p>I see a few problems with this. First, if the all-powerful consumer was driving this, we wouldn\u2019t see businesses making high profits, because that too raises costs. This is not the case. Second, even with expensive goods, where consumers are willing and even eager to pay high prices, we see similar working conditions (think Apple products).<\/p>\n<p>In addition, \u201cour willingness\u201d to buy products produced under these conditions is an odd way to talk about it. Businesses spend a lot of energy obscuring these working conditions, to tell those who are concerned about it that they have improved them, will work to improve them, or that they aren\u2019t that bad or that they are inevitable. \u00a0Beyond that, it’s not clear what consumers are supposed to do. If all products were clearly labeled to give us a full sense of the conditions in which they were made, it’s not as if it would be possible to simply avoid such products. Anyone who’s ever spent time trying to do this knows while you can occasionally find something made in fair conditions, it’s next to impossible to do it consistently. \u00a0Despite the myth that markets always provide broad choice, this is simply not the case.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s also the question of where consumer demand comes from. Does it spring immaculate from the unorganized consumers, or do corporations shape it? <a href=\"http:\/\/books.google.com\/books\/about\/The_new_industrial_state.html?id=8l2G-C8H8IoC\">John Kenneth Galbraith <\/a>argued long ago that it was the latter, and this makes more sense to me. Did consumers rise up and demand cheaper, lower quality goods? Or did corporations decide this was a better way for them to make money, especially given the wage stagnation of the neoliberal era?<\/p>\n<p>What would this new price increase look like? \u00a0Here’s\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/thinkprogress.org\/economy\/2013\/05\/07\/1972201\/bangladesh-factory-upgrades-consumers\/\">Bryce Covert at Think Progress<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>So how much would clothing prices rise for the average consumer if all of the costs of upgrading Bangladesh factories were passed on to them?<\/p>\n<p>According to an estimate provided by the\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.workersrights.org\/\">Worker Rights Consortium<\/a>, it could be as little as 10 cents per article of clothing. The group comes to this figure by estimating that building renovation, safety equipment installation, and other related costs would come to about $3 billion, which is says is a high estimate that assumes virtually all factory buildings need major renovations, as some may not. Spreading that cost over five years, it comes to $600 million each year, and tacking 10 cents on to each of the roughly 7 billion garments exported from the country each year would easily cover that cost. After the initial investment in renovations, the group says the costs of maintenance will drop significantly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Is it really plausible that consumers are so attuned to price that such a small\u00a0sort of increase would make a difference? \u00a0And note, this assume<em>\u00a0the entire cost<\/em>\u00a0of the increase would be passed along directly to consumers, while there’s little doubt that the corporations are in a far better position to absorb some of the losses.<\/p>\n<p>While Davis tells consumers it’s up to them to fix this, King only agrees with this “in principle.”<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>[C]onsumers are actually very inertial creatures. If we put all our hopes in changing the global marketplace in the wallets of people like Joe Schmoe from Brownsburg, Indiana, we\u2019re not likely to see much change. Most changes in supply chain management begin with a few committed activists who are willing to go out and pressure the company through \u201cnaming and shaming\u201d tactics.\u00a0 Public humiliation still seems to work.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>In terms of the remedy, I think King is right. But it\u2019s not just inertia, but the ability to act \u2013 the mass of consumers aren\u2019t organized, and even if they were, it\u2019s almost impossible to buy products that are made in better conditions. That makes <a href=\"http:\/\/books.google.com\/books\/about\/Exit_Voice_and_Loyalty.html?id=_S8PAAAAMAAJ\">voice, as opposed to exit<\/a>, the more fruitful strategy.<\/p>\n<p>But when people believe that consumers are what drives this, I think they are less likely to engaging in these naming and shaming tactics, because consumer choice is seen as default legitimate.<\/p>\n<p>Blaming consumers, like <a href=\"http:\/\/notesonatheory.wordpress.com\/2012\/08\/10\/blaming-the-people-democratic-efficiency-as-a-cop-out\/\">blaming voters<\/a>, is a cop out.<\/p>\n",
"excerpt": "<p>[Update: On Orhtheory, Jerry Davis object to my comment (which was the first draft of this post) for claiming \u00a0that he is calling to blame the consumer.]\u00a0 [Update 2: Davis also makes his objections in this comments to this post. My response is here] [Update 3: Jim Naureckas has a good post on this topic: […]<\/p>\n",
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"title": "I wish my father were a drug junkie, pathological liar, conman criminal, violent psycho or at least a loser of some kind",
"URL": "http:\/\/unkilleddarlings.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/05\/i-wish-my-father-were-a-drug-junkie-pathological-liar-conman-criminal-violent-psycho-or-at-least-a-loser-of-some-kind\/",
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"content": "<p>Strange thing to wish for, eh?<\/p>\n<p>But I do. I wish my father was reprehensible. Some kind of monster, big or small. The kind of guy you would expect to leave his family\u2014to leave his wife for his pregnant mistress and ten years later, to tell his daughter she isn\u2019t allowed to see her sisters again. That\u2019s the kind of thing a drug junkie, pathological liar, conman criminal and\/or violent psycho might be expected to do. I could understand that. I could wrap my brain around it. It would make sense, however much my childhood didn\u2019t make sense. People would make sense.<\/p>\n<p>My father is not a drug junkie, pathological liar, conman criminal, violent psycho. He\u2019s a professional from Poughkeepsie who watches football on Sundays and pays his taxes on time. He likes The West Wing and a cold Budweiser. He makes the occasional joke and laughs when things are funny. He has pizza nights with my sisters and their mother and he genuinely enjoys his family time, although there is the normal amount of inter-family bickering, as to be expected. He\u2019s boring. Dreadfully, terribly, monstrously dull.<\/p>\n<p>I tell my mother I don\u2019t understand what she saw in him. She\u2019s a free spirit, eccentric with her head always in the clouds. Wickedly smart, in an unexpected way. Interesting and a great conversationalist, if you have an open mind and a healthy sense of\u00a0curiosity\u00a0 The kind of woman who quit her steady job to write a rock opera musical\u2014for Jesus. And still thinks that wasn\u2019t an outlandish decision.<\/p>\n<p>She explains it to me. He was her rock. Her normalcy. Her calm. He was the guy who could sit with her cousins and have a beer while she was off chasing pipedreams and gambles. When she came home with a million thoughts interweaving through her brain, he would suggest take-out Chinese. He took her hiking and let her wander off to stare at some interesting rock formation while he dutifully followed behind. And he loved her. He was normal and he loved her. She found comfort from her own busy mind in that.<\/p>\n<p>I was born ten years into their fairly happy, stable marriage. I know it\u2019s not my fault they divorced, yadda yadda. I don\u2019t blame myself or carry any deep seeded sentiments of self-loathing. But, I am aware that the existence of a child between them created some problems. Nothing to do with me\u2014I was busy goo goo gaga-ing and figuring out diapers.<\/p>\n<p>My mother tells me she wanted to be my caretaker. She wanted to nurse me to health when I was sick and rub my back when I was sad. She wanted that to be her role, only. He wanted to be my caretaker too. He would turn to her when she was comforting me and ask for a turn. And in my mother\u2019s quiet but determined way, she would respond, \u201cNo.\u201d His role was to comfort her, and hers to comfort me. That was the hierarchy in my mother\u2019s world.<\/p>\n<p>How do I reconcile that? The man who left my mother for a woman fifteen years younger; the man who raised me half my life and then dropped off the planet; the man who now wants to be friends again\u2014that man is the kind of man who wanted to hold his child when she was sick. That man reminds me on our first phone call after ten years of the various nicknames he gave me when I was younger. The nicknames I loved.<\/p>\n<p>What can I possibly think of men now? My mother taught me to stay away from drug junkies, pathological liars, conman criminals and violent psychos. Those are the ones that will hurt you.<\/p>\n<p>My father isn\u2019t a drug junkie, pathological liar, conman criminal or violent psycho. He\u2019s an easy-going old Jewish man from New York who definitely stops for pedestrians in the crosswalk. He\u2019s the kind of man your mom approves of, because he\u2019s nice and he loves you. He\u2019s the kind of man everyone thinks is safe. But he wasn\u2019t and now what am I to think?<\/p>\n<p>I wish to god my father were a drug junkie, pathological liar, conman criminal, violent psycho or at least a loser of some kind. That would make sense, at least.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/unkilleddarlings.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/img_0341.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image\" id=\"i-582\" alt=\"Image\" src=\"http:\/\/unkilleddarlings.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/img_0341.jpg?w=650\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n",
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"title": "Guest Post: Why I’m Through with Organic Farming",
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"content": "<p style=\"text-align:left;\" align=\"center\">Following on from my last guest post,\u00a0<a title=\"Guest Post: The Insanity of\u00a0Biotech\" href=\"http:\/\/randomrationality.com\/2013\/05\/12\/guest-post-the-insanity-of-biotech\/\" target=\"_blank\"><em>The Insanity of Biotech<\/em><\/a> by biochemist Paul Little, Mike Bendzela is the author of this guest post. These guest posts have been tangentially exploring similar subjects I have in my book, but in different directions; and this post explores organic farming. In <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/S3-Science-Statistics-Skepticism-ebook\/dp\/B00CQB10LO\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368681356&sr=8-1&keywords=science%2C+statistics+and+skepticism\" target=\"_blank\">S3: Science, Statistics and Skepticism<\/a>, I\u00a0lightheartedly\u00a0tackle the naturalistic fallacy and use some bad (and funny) statistics that purposefully confuse correlation with causation, intending to teach a lesson. As I was writing the book, Mike Bendzela reached out to me with his organic story that sprouts off from that\u00a0<em>Correlation\u00a0<\/em>chapter, and it is a supremely informative read. (A bit long, well worth it, and you’re used to long articles from me anyway.)<\/p>\n<hr align=\"left\" noshade=\"noshade\" size=\"4\" width=\"100%\" \/>\n<h2 align=\"center\">Why I’m Through with Organic Farming<\/h2>\n<p align=\"center\">by\u00a0<a href=\"facebook.com\/mike.bendzela\" target=\"_blank\">Mike Bendzela<\/a>\u00a0of <a href=\"www.facebook.com\/pages\/Dow-Farm-Enterprise\/198100253539218\u200e\" target=\"_blank\">Dow Farm Enterprise<\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\" align=\"right\">\u201c<i>It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you;<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\" align=\"right\"><i>you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\" align=\"right\"><i>- <\/i>Jesus of Nazareth<\/p>\n<p>For twenty-five years I was a self-styled\u00a0organic\u00a0gardener. I say \u201cself-styled\u201d because I didn’t need certification as I wasn’t marketing produce. And by \u201corganic\u201d I mean \u201ctoo lazy and cheap to buy fertilizers and pesticides.\u201d So I maintained a perennial compost heap and harvested the produce the insects didn’t eat. We ate the leftovers.<\/p>\n<p>Then there was the cheating: The first year that I grew potatoes, I had zero Colorado potato beetles. The second year, I had a jar full. The third year, I had a continent’s worth and had to nuke them with Rotenone dust. I decided to stop growing potatoes for a while.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut,\u201d the\u00a0organic\u00a0people would say, \u201cRotenone is an\u00a0organically-approved pesticide.\u201d [<strong>Fourat:<\/strong> Fun fact, rotenone is <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.scientificamerican.com\/guest-blog\/2013\/04\/10\/natural-vs-synthetic-chemicals-is-a-gray-matter\/\" target=\"_blank\">just as toxic<\/a>\u00a0as DDT.]<\/p>\n<p>Which leads directly to my point:<\/p>\n<p><i>The older I get, the more I like food, the more I hate bullshit.<\/i><\/p>\n<h3><b>A season in hell<\/b><\/h3>\n<p>In July of 2010 four of us started Dow\u00a0Farm, named after the ancestral owners of the land we\u00a0farm. We would be a small market\u00a0farm\u00a0and CSA, the trendy \u201cCommunity Supported Agriculture,\u201d but we’d just call it a subscription club. Save the Syllables.<\/p>\n<p>I was still working at an\u00a0organic\u00a0farm, learning the central pleasures and evils of\u00a0farming\u00a0at a scale larger than gardening. Helping to run Dow\u00a0Farm\u00a0would mean having to quit this summer job that I really liked and probably taking a significant hit in the wallet for a while.<\/p>\n<p>Would we be certified or not? Certification is a three-year process, the materials are more expensive, and the methods are more labor-intensive. These stresses of\u00a0organic\u00a0certification come on top of a central fact of life for Maine\u00a0farmers: The weather around here is just awful.<\/p>\n<p>The crap we had to endure in 2011 just to get plants into the ground six weeks late meant that if we were going to limit our options to \u201corganically-approved\u201d ones, the reasons had better be good. I decided the best way to research the value of gaining certification was to go to the Maine\u00a0Organic Farmers\u00a0and Gardeners Association (MOFGA)\u00a0website, and read the \u201cfact sheets\u201d and the manual.<\/p>\n<p>I found the philosophy of the organics movement to be a barrel raft covered in loose planks. In trying to justify their beliefs, they pile on the claims (planks), each of which rests on a different assumption (barrel). And when one claim is questioned, they simply jump to another plank on the raft and try to hold it all together. Sadly, for the investigator, dismantling a raft of claims requires a crew of rebuttals.<\/p>\n<p>It took awhile for all those planks to be yanked away from me, one by one, and for the barrels to disperse and sink.<\/p>\n<h3><b>The origins of the \u201corganic\u201d vs. \u201cchemical\u201d false dichotomy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p>In the early 19<sup>th<\/sup>\u00a0century, \u201cVitalism\u201d reigned. This was the belief that certain materials could only be produced through a mysterious \u201cvital force\u201d in living organisms; hence, \u201corganic\u201d substances were those derived from organisms and their products. Then a German scientist, Fredrick W\u00f6hler, synthesized urea, a component of urine, in a laboratory without having to pee in a bottle. Goodbye Vitalism.<\/p>\n<p>These \u201cmysterious\u201d materials turned out to be the results not of a vital force but of the properties of good old carbon. So the term \u201corganic\u201d came to describe the chemicals based around the carbon atom.<\/p>\n<p>The\u00a0organic\u00a0farmers\u00a0parted ways with the\u00a0organic\u00a0chemists around the turn of the century, with \u201corganic\u201d gaining positive connotations and \u201cchemical\u201d negative ones. This commenced with the German mystic Rudolph Steiner and his \u201cAnthroposophic\u201d movement, which includes \u201cbiodynamic\u201d\u00a0farming, a school that believes the\u00a0farm\u00a0should be seen as a \u201cholistic\u201d organism that needs to be balanced with various astrological forces. Some ways of achieving this \u201cbalance\u201d include shunning \u201csynthetic chemicals\u201d and burying manure-stuffed cow’s horns to focus cosmic energy into the earth.<\/p>\n<p>Today we have the government-sanctioned term \u201corganic\u201d to describe a veritable Leviticus of \u201cAllowed\u201d and \u201cProhibited\u201d practices that are put into place to ensure that a\u00a0farm\u00a0is, well,\u00a0organic. The term now conflicts with the scientific, chemical definition in just about every way.<\/p>\n<p>For example: a chemically\u00a0organic, naturally-occurring pesticide produced in Kenya, pyrethrum, is declared \u201corganic\u201d even though it decimates bees, but a likewise chemically\u00a0organic\u00a0pesticide native to the North America, nicotine sulfate, is not \u201corganic.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A synthetically produced, chemically\u00a0organic\u00a0fungicide, Captan, is declared not \u201corganic,\u201d but the synthetically produced, chemically\u00a0<i>inorganic<\/i>\u00a0fungicide copper sulfate is declared \u201corganic.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Go figure. Nowadays, if someone asks if our food is \u201corganic,\u201d I say, \u201cSure, it’s carbon-based.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3><b>Mother Nature, Bad Parent<\/b><\/h3>\n<p>Not only are absurdities uttered with a straight face, contradictions are simply codified as \u201cstandards.\u201d A central fault of organics is the Naturalistic Fallacy, the belief that substances derived from nature are better than those created by humans. Well, sometimes, anyway. Maybe not.<\/p>\n<p>The USDA’s National Organics Program, which began with an Act of Congress in 1990, articulates the fallacy this way:<\/p>\n<p>“As a general rule,\u00a0<strong>all<\/strong>\u00a0natural (non-synthetic) substances are allowed in\u00a0organic\u00a0production and\u00a0<strong>all<\/strong>\u00a0synthetic substances are prohibited. The National List of Allowed Synthetic and Prohibited Non-Synthetic Substances, a section in the regulations, contains the specific exceptions to the rule.”\u00a0<i><\/i><i>[emphasis mine]<\/i><\/p>\n<p>In other words, natural substances are OK, unless they’re not OK; and synthetic substances are not OK, unless they’re OK. One can only stand in wonder at how high the manure has been piled in this case, all the way up to the United States Department of Agriculture, in fact.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAllowed Synthetics\u201d are rationalized this way:<\/p>\n<p><strong>(1)<\/strong> The substance cannot be produced from a natural source and there are no\u00a0organic\u00a0substitutes<\/p>\n<p><strong>(2)<\/strong> The substance’s manufacture, use, and disposal do not have adverse effects on the environment and are done in a manner compatible with organic\u00a0handling….<\/p>\n<p>In other words: Mother Nature doesn’t always provide us the protection we need to\u00a0farm\u00a0successfully. In fact, She regularly supplies pestilence, disease and infection. If you’re an orchardist, the fungi are your mortal enemy and you have to spray fungicides or your orchard is doomed. So please just be careful with that copper sulfate, which can accumulate in the soil and cause organ damage if ingested.<\/p>\n<p>How about if all\u00a0farmers\u00a0agree to use any substance, natural or synthetic, in a way that minimizes adverse effects on health and the environment? In other words, follow the doggone label.<\/p>\n<h3>\u201c<b>Teh pesticides!\u201d<\/b><\/h3>\n<p>Something I read on MOFGA’s website, a \u201cPesticides Quiz,\u201d really bothered me:<\/p>\n<p><em>“The EPA performs toxicity tests on pesticides prior to registration.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>False:<\/strong>\u00a0Toxicity tests are performed neither by the EPA nor by independent laboratories contracting with the EPA. Pesticide manufacturers provide the data that the EPA bases its judgments on. There is an inherent conflict of interest between EPA’s need for unbiased data and the manufacturers’ need for data that show their products are not hazardous.”<\/p>\n<p>How does a lay person check out such a claim? I Googled \u201cPesticides\u201d and \u201cMaine\u201d and got Maine Board of Pesticides Control as the top hit. I called the number there and got Dr. Lebelle Hicks, Toxicologist.\u00a0Dr. Hicks seems delighted to have a real citizen asking her questions.<\/p>\n<p>Summarizing her reply to the scary MOFGA claim: It is true only as far as it goes. But it’s not the EPA’s job to test the compounds that manufacturers wish to market; that would mean taxpayers paying for the testing of products that the corporations will profit from. It is the EPA’s job to set the tolerances for residues and to review the data submitted by the manufacturers according to strict guidelines. Laboratories contracting with the manufacturers perform such tests.<\/p>\n<p>This conversation came sometime after a discombobulating experience I had while working at the\u00a0organic\u00a0farm: I was required to attend a workshop upcountry to be certified . . . as a pesticides handler.<\/p>\n<p>So a group of us drove up to MOFGA’s fairground, where the MBPC’s Gary Fish, Manager of Pesticide Programs, gave us a PowerPoint on how to read pesticide labels and how to follow what’s written on them. Calling this an instance of \u201ccognitive dissonance\u201d is putting it mildly. It’s true:Organic\u00a0farmers\u00a0use pesticides and they have to follow the same laws as non-organic\u00a0farmers. No amount of special pleading (\u201cBut they’re natural!\u201d) negates this fact.<\/p>\n<p>At Dr. Hicks’ advice, I eventually studied for and received a private pesticides applicator license in Maine. This year, in spite of the weather, we have had the best apples, ever.<\/p>\n<h3>\u201c<b>GMOs? OMG!\u201d<\/b><\/h3>\n<p>From MOFGA’s manual:<\/p>\n<p>Genetic engineering (recombinant DNA technology) is a synthetic process designed to control nature at the molecular\u00a0level, with the potential for unforeseen consequences. As such, it is not compatible with the principles of\u00a0organic\u00a0agriculture (either production or handling). Genetically engineered\/modified organisms (GEO\/GMOs) and products produced by or through the use of genetic engineering are prohibited.<\/p>\n<p>This prohibition is articulated by the NOP as well:<\/p>\n<p>A variety of methods to genetically modify organisms or influence their growth and development by means that are not possible under natural conditions or processes and are not considered compatible with\u00a0organic\u00a0production.<\/p>\n<p>Question: As one of the partners of Dow\u00a0Farm\u00a0daily injects himself with insulin that is produced through recombinant DNA technology,\u00a0does this mean he can never consider himself an \u201corganic\u201d\u00a0farmer? (Not that he cares at this point.)<\/p>\n<p>The idea that \u201cthe principles of\u00a0organic\u00a0agriculture\u201d do not \u201ccontrol nature at the molecular level\u201d and do not have \u201cthe potential for unforeseen consequences\u201d is a classic instance of the one who judges the gene splice in another’s eye while not seeing the cloned apple tree lodged in one’s own eye.<\/p>\n<p>The anti-GMO crowd simply cannot separate their loathing for a specific corporation, Monsanto, from the science of recombinant DNA technology. Presumably, because \u201cMonsatan\u201d is Bad, the papaya\u00a0farmers\u00a0of Hawaii should cut down their groves of trees engineered to resist ring spot virus, beta-carotene-fortified Golden Rice should continue to be withheld from children who will go blind from Vitamin A deficiency, and GE vaccines should be flushed down the toilet.<\/p>\n<p>Plant pathologist Pamela C. Ronald and\u00a0organic\u00a0farmer\u00a0R. W. Adamchak, have done an admirable job in their book \u201cTomorrow’s Table\u201d arguing that the aims of genetic engineering and\u00a0organic\u00a0farming\u00a0are not necessary at odds. They believe the two can coexist.<\/p>\n<p>However, such a prospect brings to mind the words \u201csnowball\u201d and \u201chell.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3><b>If it quacks, it’s probably\u00a0organic<\/b><\/h3>\n<p>In the Fall of 2000, I got to experience a weekend at the Common Ground Fair, MOFGA’s agricultural event, as a helper at some friends’\u00a0farmers market booth. People drive in from all over New England to eat\u00a0organic\u00a0spelt crepes, experience\u00a0organic\u00a0aromatherapy, and buy twenty-dollar-a-pound\u00a0organic\u00a0seed garlic.<\/p>\n<p>MOFGA had just moved to their beautiful new digs in Unity, Maine, and it was enjoyable roaming the grounds between shifts to watch fields being plowed with teams of horses; to gawk at produce and price tags; and to hear lectures on how\u00a0bio-dynamic\u00a0beekeepers care for the \u201cbee soul.\u201d Hilariously, coffee vendors not permitted on the fairgrounds hang around outside the gates like ticket scalpers. They do a brisk business pre-caffeinating fair goers addicted to this 100% natural substance.<\/p>\n<p>I caught sight of something called The Whole Life Tent. Entering, I was amazed to find myself surrounded by Reflexologists, Naturopathic Doctors, Homeopaths, Reiki practitioners, and other \u201cmodalities\u201d by which one may become \u201cmoral, united, integrated, and balanced.\u201d I was unsure what any of this had to do with agriculture.<\/p>\n<p>To my dismay, I realized that what the panoply of fried dough, stuffed animals, and monster trucks is to Maine’s largest commercial fair, the Fryeburg Fair, the whole raft of alternative medical scams is to the Common Ground Fair\u2014a necessary evil to get non-agricultural types to attend. Only much later, when I opened the manuals, did I discover that this disorder is not limited to the fair grounds.<\/p>\n<p>Both MOFGA and the NOP make it clear that livestock must not be subject to the \u201croutine use of synthetic medications.\u201d Antibiotics cannot be used \u201cfor any reason.\u201d And yet:<\/p>\n<p>“Producers are prohibited from withholding treatment from a sick or injured animal; however, animals treated with a prohibited medication may not be sold as\u00a0organic.”<\/p>\n<p>So an animal treated with appropriate medications is thereby rendered unclean.<\/p>\n<p>OK, whatever. There are other ways of treating your animals that pass \u201corganic\u201d muster, according to \u201cRaising\u00a0Organic\u00a0Livestock in\u00a0Maine: MOFGA Accepted Health Practices, Products and Ingredients.\u201d In case of mastitis, for instance, you could have the cow take \u201cgarlic internally, 1 or 2 whole bulbs twice a day\u201d or put \u201cdilute garlic in vulva\u201d (using Nitrile gloves made in Thailand, one hopes). Then there are the \u201cHomeopathic remedies, Bryonia, Phytolacca,\u201d and other letters of the alphabet.<\/p>\n<p>However, you must not use Bag Balm for any reason whatsoever.<\/p>\n<h3>\u201c<b>Go\u00a0organic\u201d: slander a\u00a0farmer<\/b><\/h3>\n<p>At Maine’s Agricultural Trades Show in Augusta in January, we got to mingle with other\u00a0farmers, big and small, and to attend workshops on combating pests and Internet marketing.<\/p>\n<p>In the Exhibition Hall, I found myself standing behind two young women in wool grilling a commercial apple orchardist about his spraying practices. He was trying to explain to them that he kept both \u201corganic\u201d and \u201cconventional\u201d plots and that the \u201corganic\u201d trees actually needed to be sprayed more often because of the transitory nature of \u201corganic\u201d pesticides. This increased his costs in both chemicals and fuel, which was reflected in the price of his apples. The women then sidled off to another booth. I asked him if they \u201cgot it.\u201d He issued a flat \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I had just published an editorial on the remarkable irony that MOFGA, the group that itself defined the sharp divide between \u201corganic\u201d and \u201cconventional\u201d farmers, was complaining about feeling excluded from an event at the show. This event, called \u201cConvergence = Sustainability,\u201dwas billed as \u201cbringing all farmers\u00a0together to talk about common issues.\u201d It was apparently not enough that an entire day of the show was called \u201cMOFGA day.\u201d They seemed to want \u201cconversion,\u201d not mere \u201cconvergence.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In response to the Convergence = Sustainability flap, MOFGA published an editorial with the following contemptible passage:<\/p>\n<p>Why would\u00a0organic\u00a0growers and consumers want to converge with conventional agriculture, as the title of a Maine Agricultural Trades Show session, held in January, suggested? Craving the Organophosphate-Arsenic-Laced Special for dinner?<\/p>\n<p>There seems to be no limit to the calumnies organics advocates will heap on non-certified\u00a0farmers. Maine’s\u00a0organic\u00a0guru Eliot Coleman derides non-organic\u00a0farmers\u00a0as \u201cchemical\u00a0farmers\u201d who supposedly believe that \u201cnature is inadequate.\u201d He rehashes the 19<sup>th<\/sup>\u00a0fallacy of \u201cchemical\u201d versus \u201cbiological,\u201d dismissing the whole agricultural discipline of plant pathology as \u201cplant-negative.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Members of the\u00a0Organic\u00a0Consumers Association also employ the derisive term \u201cchemical\u00a0farmers\u201d in their screeds. They even come right out and say that local foods not \u201corganically-produced\u201d are unsafe and that consumers should shun their local\u00a0farmer\u00a0who is not certified\u00a0organic. Their modus operandi is to frighten people into buying\u00a0organic.<\/p>\n<p>“Non-organic\u00a0farmers\u00a0and feedlot operators are literally poisoning us and our children…”<\/p>\n<p>The belief armor of such ideologues is so strong that the concept of \u201cdose\u201d doesn’t penetrate.\u00a0Organic\u00a0devotees endow \u201cpesticide residues\u201d with seemingly supernatural powers of corruption while simply ignoring the fact that our diets are full of poisons. To them it doesn’t matter, as Bruce N. Ames and Lois S. Gold have shown, that \u201c99.99% of the pesticides humans ingest are natural.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It doesn’t matter that fungicides protect us from one of the most potent carcinogens known, aflatoxins produced by molds; what matters are the hypothetical effects of\u00a0micro-grams\u00a0of fungicides found on apples, as promulgated by such organizations as the execrable Environmental Working Group.<\/p>\n<p>It doesn’t matter that another potent carcinogen, benzo(a)pyrene, is ubiquitous in cooked foods. Instead of considering, by twisted \u201corganic\u201d logic, that this morning’s hot coffee and toast is a cancer cocktail crossing her placental barrier, a pregnant mother propagandized into being afraid of non-organic\u00a0food will strap her babies into car seats and drive miles to avoid \u201cchemical\u201d\u00a0farmers\u00a0and their products.<\/p>\n<h3><b>The end of the matter<\/b><\/h3>\n<p>In the end, there is nothing particularly wrong with the methods sanctified as \u201corganic\u201d\u2014the food produced is as good as any other food\u2014but it turns out that just about every other utterance that issues from the\u00a0organic\u00a0movement and its acolytes is an absurdity, a contradiction, a misrepresentation, a slander, or a fib.<\/p>\n<p>I phrase the Jesus quote at the beginning this way:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt’s not what goes into your pie holes that’s the problem. It’s what comes out of your pie holes that’s the problem.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So if you currently buy your fresh produce from your local\u00a0organic\u00a0farmer\u00a0and you really like it, continue to do so. Just tell them to cut the crap, along with their prices.<\/p>\n<hr align=\"left\" noshade=\"noshade\" size=\"4\" width=\"100%\" \/>\n<p>All in all, a\u00a0fantastically, informative read. Just as we should be wary of Big Ag, Big Pharma, and Big Government when they assert, by fiat, that so-so equals bladdy-blah, so should it be of Big Organic when they assert their methods use no pesticides, less-intensive pesticides, is automatically better because it’s au naturale (wild almonds anyone? They contain cyanide), or, any other contradictory\u00a0occurrences. I believe Rob Hart has said it best: “The world has changed. We don\u2019t live anything like our ancestors. We don\u2019t work like them, talk like them, think like them, travel like them, or fight like them. Why on earth would we want to eat like them.”<\/p>\n<p>Thanks for the guest post Mike. And don’t forget, if you buy <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/S3-Science-Statistics-Skepticism-ebook\/dp\/B00CQB10LO\/ref=pd_sim_kstore_1\" target=\"_blank\">S3: Science, Statistics and Skepticism<\/a>, I’ll give you Random Rationality: Expanded free (which cost 3 times as much). Just email me your receipt (you’ll find my email at my <a href=\"http:\/\/www.fouratjanabi.net\/#!contact\/c1d94\" target=\"_blank\">author website<\/a>). Thanks for reading.<\/p>\n",
"excerpt": "<p>Following on from my last guest post,\u00a0The Insanity of Biotech by biochemist Paul Little, Mike Bendzela is the author of this guest post. These guest posts have been tangentially exploring similar subjects I have in my book, but in different directions; and this post explores organic farming. In S3: Science, Statistics and Skepticism, I\u00a0lightheartedly\u00a0tackle the […]<\/p>\n",
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"date": "2013-05-17T08:00:26-05:00",
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"title": "About the Time I Almost Deleted my Blog",
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"content": "<p>Yesterday I published a post called \u201c<a title=\"BS Feminism\" href=\"http:\/\/sassandbalderdash.com\/2013\/05\/16\/bullshit-feminism\/\" target=\"_blank\">BS Feminism<\/a>\u201d that was incredibly polarizing. For some reason, yesterday the critical comments affected me to the point where I had to step away from my desk at work to cry in the bathroom like the flat-chested girl no one asked to prom.<\/p>\n<p>At the time, I didn\u2019t know why. This wasn\u2019t the first post I\u2019ve written that people had a love\/hate reaction to, and it probably won\u2019t be the last. This isn\u2019t the first time numerous people commented, voicing their reasons for why they disagree with me–so why this time did I need toilet paper to blot my eyes, promptly take the post down, and seriously consider deleting my blog altogether?<\/p>\n<p>Well, I\u2019ve been having a shitty week, guys. Nothing happened, no one dumped me, and I didn\u2019t get fired from my job for being the creepy girl who wears a lot of peplum and cries about blog comments in the handicapped women\u2019s restroom stall. It\u2019s just been one of <i>those <\/i>weeks. I\u2019ve felt stressed out, frustrated, and fussy like a baby overdue for a nap. No one on WordPress knew that, and how could they?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m guilty of this myself, but I think all too often when we read something a blogger posts, we immediately assume that\u2019s the mood they\u2019re in, because that\u2019s all we know. If someone posts a bitter blog post, we assume they\u2019re feeling bitter. A reflective post, we assume they\u2019re feeling contemplative. A sarcastic post? Well they must be in a feisty mood! For most of us and the bloggers we engage with, WordPress kind of becomes Wor<i>l<\/i>dPress in our minds. So when a couple of the dissenting comments came in on that post, I just wasn\u2019t in the right place emotionally to handle it the way I usually do, even though none of them were written with malice. I may be the voice of Sass & Balderdash, but I\u2019m still a human being once or twice a week.<\/p>\n<p><b>About that post in particular, <\/b>which I have reposted so take a look at your own risk,<b> let me say this:<\/b> There were aspects of feminism I overgeneralized. There were things that were phrased in a misleading way that made what was said historically inaccurate. At the end of the day, did the informative comments I received make me change my stance? No, if anything, they gave me some more context for everything I was saying.<\/p>\n<p>To speak candidly, if I may, let me take this moment to admit I don\u2019t know everything about everything. \u2026Unless it pertains to cheesecake and getting drunk off of one measly cosmo. Everything you read on this blog might not accurately portray both sides of an issue. What you read here may not be politically correct. Some of the stuff you read here may piss you off, but everything you read here is written from my perspective, and as you might have already found out, that perspective might sometimes be limited, ridiculous, or even uninformed. …Aren\u2019t all our perspectives that way?<\/p>\n<p>I don’t want to be the author of an unbiased blog. Our bias is what makes our blogs what they are. Flawed, erratic, infuriating, offensive, surprising, eye-opening, outrageous\u2014you have to take the good with the bad. Your bias will sometimes appeal to the majority; sometimes your bias will have people gathering their pitchforks. For the post in question, if anyone felt that something that they\u2019re passionate about was misrepresented, I do sincerely apologize, and I appreciate you correcting it in the comments section. That\u2019s what it\u2019s there for.<\/p>\n<p><em>Prepare yourself for the Lifetime original movie ending to this post.<\/em> What I learned from this whole experience is that in the time I\u2019ve been writing this blog, I\u2019ve come a long way as a writer and as an insecure, overly sensitive chick in general. If something like this had happened when I first started writing Sass & Balderdash, I would\u2019ve shut it down immediately and gone back to feeding my prose to a file folder on my desktop.<\/p>\n<p>But people read my writing now, and they have opinions about it. They get mad about things just like I do. They encourage me when I admit I\u2019m having a rough time. They tell me not to stop.<b> <\/b>I\u2019m so for grateful for all of that, and while I\u2019m not perfect, and I\u2019m sure there will be twenty more posts that put things indelicately and upset people and will require some kind of acknowledgement on my part, the important part of that is: <b><i>there will be twenty more posts.<\/i> <\/b>I\u2019m not going anywhere. \u2028\u2026So long as no one finds me and burns me at the stake.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t <i>ever <\/i>want you to blindly agree with me\u2014don\u2019t you dare!\u2014 but when you don\u2019t, I can\u2019t promise that I won\u2019t take it a little personally at first. That\u2019s who I am. Insecurity, thirst for approval, sensitivity, a lingering reluctance to put my writing out there for fear of how it will be received\u2014those are very much my wounds, and after 22 years, I\u2019m still dressing them. With time, I hope someday to be able to easily weather any onslaught of feedback\u2014from the informative to the constructive criticism to the trollish musings of a basement-dwelling Internet underlord\u2014but that\u2019s still a work in progress.<\/p>\n<p>How lucky am I that people care enough about something I wrote to spend their time writing a thoughtful, well-written comment when so many blogs go unviewed? To pout about the fact someone poked a hole in my argument is so petty, but knowing that and <em>feeling <\/em>that are two different things.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_3600\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"width: 310px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/sassandbalderdash.com\/2013\/05\/17\/about-the-time-i-almost-deleted-my-blog\/untitled\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-3600\"><img class=\"size-medium wp-image-3600\" alt=\"I'm a better neighbor than this, I promise.cheezburger\" src=\"http:\/\/sassandbalderdash.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/untitled.png?w=300&h=267\" width=\"300\" height=\"267\" \/><\/a><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">I’m a better neighbor than this, I promise.<br \/><span style=\"font-size:xx-small;\"><a href=\"memebase.cheezburger.com\/verydemotivational\u200e\"><i>cheezburger<\/i><\/a><\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<p>I apologize for not sticking to my guns initially. I’m sorry for the whiny post that followed. I\u2019m sorry none of you seem to know any bullshit feminists. I\u2019m sorry for writing a post that set women\u2019s lib back 50 years, and I\u2019m sorry for being flippant about it now. \u2026That\u2019s a Gretchen Wieners apology if there ever was one.<\/p>\n<p>Please keep giving me your feedback, agree\/disagree, love\/hate, fuck\/marry\/kill. I truly want to discuss <i>all <\/i>of the things I post. WordPress neighbors, I know I may be the pain in the ass new kid on the block. You’re entitled to call the police on me and leave flaming brown paper bags of dog shit on my front step. You’re even allowed to put complaint notes in my mailbox. …Just remember, when you do, you’re on my property. And I’ve been known to get out the hose.<\/p>\n",
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